People often think that having boudoir photos taken is something to keep a secret. We always ask clients how they heard about us. Did they know what boudoir photography was? Were they searching for it? Or did they just happen upon it? Many women say they don’t know anyone else who has done it before. We tell them that they might not know if they did.
While we do have clients who tell all of their friends and some who even bring along a trusted bestie, most of our clients tell no one but their significant other. And some, who do it as a gift to themselves, tell no one at all.
It’s definitely understandable. We live in a culture that tends to find violence more acceptable than sex. Our movies and tv shows are more likely to get graphic violence past the censors than nudity or a loving sexual encounter. A “wardrobe malfunction” during a halftime show generated millions of dollars in fines. Women are harassed and shamed for feeding their babies in public. Our Puritan roots run deep.
Boudoir photography can be a very intimate experience. After all, you are generally wearing very little clothing of a type most wouldn’t wear outside of their own bedrooms. But on the other hand, it’s also a fun and empowering experience. And who couldn’t use one of those? If you’ve had that experience you owe it to your friends to pass it along.
Recently one of our clients was bringing her husband to her photo viewing session so he could choose his own favorites. (We have realized over time that His favorites and Her favorites rarely line up.) They happened to be visiting her parents just before the viewing session and when Mom asked where they were headed the husband innocently told her they were going to view her daughter’s boudoir photos. As the wife cringed over the surprise revelation, her mother made her own surprise revelation. Mom had had her own boudoir photography session done years earlier.
Mom went on to pull out her boudoir album and share it with her daughter. We always joke that when you purchase an album you are immortalizing your present beauty for future generations. Some day the grandkids will find it in the attic and realize, “Grandma was hot!”
But this story made me realize that maybe it’s not just a joke. This mother and daughter were able to bond over an experience they shared decades apart. An experience that, for both of them, may have been a powerful, esteem-building one. Had our client’s husband no let it slip they might never have had that moment together.
Our culture spends billions of dollars every year to convince women that they are not young enough or thin enough or pretty enough. It’s hard not to fall into that mindset. We’ve been trained not to accept a compliment and always be self deprecating. This has to stop. We need to learn to see the beauty in ourselves the same way we see the beauty in our mothers and sisters and friends.
Boudoir photography helps you see that beauty. Don’t keep it a secret. Tell your friends. They need to see their own beauty as well.