I recently (yesterday) dyed my hair teal blue. Yup, the whole head. For years I’ve had just the bangs colored teal but lately I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about all that gray hair. I’m 50 and there’s quite a bit of it under the decades of various colors of dye. I’m not ready to go gray yet. But blue-haired old lady? I’m totally ready for that. Just with my own twist.
Some of it is practical. The semi permanent blue dye is easier on the hair than the browns I’ve been using and the more gray there is the less I’ll need to bleach to get vibrancy. But some of it is that I love the color. It feels like me.
This morning I went to Dunkin Donuts for a little breakfast. As I was sitting at a table by the door minding my own business an elderly man walked by me to leave. As he passed I heard him say under his breath, “Nice hair.” And then he grumbled something I couldn’t fully hear that seemed to be something along the lines of people like me being the downfall of human society.
I’m pretty used to this. I’ve been called “freak” from a moving car my fair share of times. I’ve spent most of my adult life tattooed and pierced and flouting many conventions about how a woman of my age, whatever age that was, should dress and present herself.
As the man passed, my first thought was that it was shame that he wants to live in the world he’s creating with his unsolicited comments. One of hate and negativity. My second thought was to tell him, “I didn’t do it for you.” But is that right? Maybe it’s not.
I don’t know this man so obviously I didn’t dye my hair for him personally. And I didn’t even do it to impress or attract him as a representative of his kind. But I think, in a way, I did do it for him. Or at least, for his kind.
I’ve always felt different. Not capital “D” Different in the way that I have something inside me that our culture deems wrong or bad even if it’s not. Just different. I don’t want to fall in line. I don’t want to wear the uniform, or at least not the most prevalent of uniforms. I don’t want to live my life by predetermined steps to success.
If you want all that there’s nothing wrong with it. No judgements. But I don’t. And I never really did.
The way I dress and act and live my life is what feels right to me. And it signifies to society that I’m part of a different tribe. It represents my otherness.
I think we all have an otherness about us. In a way, we really are all special little snowflakes. Just like our moms told us. But we should be able to recognize our sameness as well. I don’t want this to be a political rant about bathrooms and immigration bans, but we should be kind to each other and accept each other. No one wants to be merely tolerated.
I know this seems to have very little to do with boudoir photography, but I’m about to pull it all together here. The fact that Felix and I both have always recognized and embraced our place outside of the mainstream has definitely shown itself in our work.
I think it’s the main reason for our slogan. You. Super hot. And it’s why we don’t bring in a team of makeover experts to turn you into someone you’re not. We want everyone to embrace who they are, inside and out, all the time. Every day. And we want to help you do that during your boudoir session. We want to show you that the person you are is beautiful.
So fly your freak flag or your soccer mom flag or your geek flag or whatever flag you’ve got. Fly it proudly and don’t listen to the people who want to tear it down. Create the world you wish to live in.